Humbleness

It was hard to begin writing before, because it has been such a long time since I last wrote anything. Where to start, what to say... there is so much to express in words about life and my recent experiences. At the same time, I don't want to just dump everything on paper, or worse, come off in any way that's pretentious.

At first, I wanted to title this blog entry as "Back Once Again," as I had the song by Fat Boy Slim come to mind (my friend Charlie did a really cool video edit using this song, haha). Then, I continued by writing about time, how the past and the future don't exist -- that everything is now. I wanted to link it to how I feel that I am in the same place again -- Tianjin, China. Next, I wanted to say that, even though I am here once again (Tianjin, China), things have changed.

Well, that was a lot easier to say, looking back in hindsight and admitting that I have no intention of writing anything so pretentious, something full of fluff and extra words to fill up a sheet of paper; you know, the kind of stuff you write in college to meet the 4-5 page requirement for your assignment.

I've also thought off and on about my friend, Bruno. It might be easier to write about someone else at the moment, but then again, I don't want to embarass that person by making him or her the center of attention. I'll just say that Bruno has influenced my thoughts about blogging. He's right in that one should conscientiously be humble when writing; that one should not try to come off as so glorifying of his or her experiences. And, well, I feel that maybe I made that mistake before -- that I felt so glorified in my experiences as a traveler in China. But, the reality is, I am like many people who are searching for more in life.

So many planes criss-cross the world everyday, taking different people to different parts of the world. What I accomplished last year in China is no greater or less than what other people have done in their lives as well; and are doing now as I am writing this blog. For this reason and more, I apologize for coming off in any way arrogant or pretentious.

One of my goals for this year, and for the rest of my life, is to be a much humbler person. I never want to think of myself as being better than others... nor do I want to treat others as lesser than me.

China has been a very good challenge and test for me to break down any arrogance or high-minded thinking I have previously held, to develop modesty and be more humble in thought. Each and every day, I am met with someone who looks to be of lower socioeconomic status than me; whether it be their clothing, or the way they comb their hair; or how they behave. Overall, it's very easy to spot who's got money and who's got nothing.

A lot of people here, unfortunately, are part of the "who's got nothing" and it's very apparent, if only on the outside. As I've said before, most people here either walk or commute by bus or bike. If you're in a city like Tianjin, you won't see people with name brand clothing; and if you do, it's most likely a fake. You'll notice that a lot of people here have aged very badly; faces weathered and hands worn out; darkened skin and grey hair. Basically, life is and has been rough in China (at least for those who aren't wealthy businessmen living in fast developing cities like Shanghai or Beijing).

I don't want to draw out this idea anymore, but I'll simply say that I think twice when I see these people who, in my opinion, dress poorly, or act crudely (like spitting on the ground). Initially, and before, I will want to look down upon these people; maybe think of them in a "barbaric" sense (or, as some Chinese people joke, as the poor farmers of the countryside). But I remind myself that these people grow our food; they clean our streets and restaurants; they cook our food; they build our apartments and roads; they build amazing cities and highways. For the most part, they give people like me, and those who are fortunate, a more comfortable and privileged life.

Valdo once told me the same for my own country -- that Hispanics and black people (along with other "minorities") are the ones responsible for the development of the U.S.; for the wonderful parks, zoos, swimming pools and neighborhoods; for the convenience of living, such as driving on streets and living in houses/apartments.

Well, that's one point that I would like to make in my attempts to be humbler; to remind myself that I'm not so sexy and great (at all); that I should be more thankful for others who have created the human world (of cities and skyscrapers) around me.

For now on, I want to devote each blog entry to some aspect of China, or to anything really... so long as I am not the center of attention. I think, before, this blog was focused on me and my rantings; rantings about how I saw China and the way I think about politics and stuff (immature thoughts and viewpoints, I feel).

I used to also think this would be my way of keeping in touch with people, but 1.) we have been blessed with email and skype, so I will keep in touch with you all that way 2.) I don't believe in somebody writing about themselves -- it's too self-glorifying (unless you are a very accomplished person, like Benjamin Franklin). I will also try to be more concise and less drawn out -- I just want to introduce something that is meaningful and interesting to me.

Well, for those who have read this blog and have been so kind and patient as to give me your attention -- I don't want to waste it on myself any further...

China -- Overall Impression

So it looks like we are already in our last week of May, just under two months before I return to the U.S. Although my last entry might give the impression that I have disliked China, my true feelings are quite the contrary. It has been a very complicated journey, one filled with excitement and frustration. The frustration comes from the fact that I may never truly understand Chinese people, because of our differing backgrounds in both history and culture. I think Chinese people are some of the most wonderful people in the world; their love and care for one another is, in many ways, unmatched; their understanding of health and life is grounded by a long history that could never be understood by current Western standards.

Even though it’s easy to denounce their methods and practices as “outdated”, or worse, “backward”, the exact opposite is true; Chinese people, on average, live a much healthier lifestyle than most Americans. Sure, their standard of living may not be as enjoyable, but China’s history is much more complex and involved than America’s. Take into account Western imperialism and the destruction that Europe and the U.S. caused for China’s society in the 20^th century. Even before that time, try to understand the magnitude of China and its overall geography; for hundreds of years, China constantly faced invasion by the Mongols and other outside groups, vying for China’s power and wealth. It’s much easier when you’re surrounded by ocean, which has given the U.S. great advantage over the years.

Added to that effect is China’s population, which raises many challenges and problems. When you are dealing with 1.33 billion people, things begin to slow down, efficiency is lost, and creating a favorable situation for all is close to impossible. I constantly wrestle with this phenomenon – is it China’s fault for its swelling population? Many have said that during the beginning years of the P.R.C., Mao Ze Dong encouraged all families to have plenty of children; he said that more numbers is equivalent to greater power. Of course, we now know that this isn’t the case. For this reason, China’s population boomed during the 20^th century. But, you have to remember Mao Ze Dong’s background and where he came from. He wasn’t a college-educated politician like Barack Obama; nor was he a wealthy family member of the Kennedys. No, he was simply a farmer from China’s countryside who had great ambitions. As a result, many people could relate to him and, for this reason, his power and fame soared.

However, also for this reason, many of the decisions he made as China’s leader are greatly questionable. Interestingly, most of China’s younger generation recognize this and realize that, although Mao should be credited for helping China’s reunification, he should also be blamed for hindering/preventing China’s development in the world. It wasn’t until the early 1980s, under Deng Xiao Ping, that China was once again opened to the world for trade and development. Since this time, China has greatly tried to catch up with the rest of the world, but under a Communist regime. There are, of course, advantages and disadvantages to this process.

I believe that Communism requires a greater level of control over people’s thinking, because for Communism to work, people must forfeit their power and freedom as individuals; after all, it is more about the group than the individual. Moreover, if the Communist system begins to falter, it is best that the people not recognize (or, at the very least, ponder) this flaw in the system; otherwise they may want to take control into their own hands and produce change. It’s like first giving trust to a friend, but once the friend makes a mistake, you will think twice about trusting this friend again; you might want to even take action into your own hands. With regard to government, it is understood in the West that the government is meant to serve the people, not the other way around. That, should the government begin to make mistakes, it is the freedom and liberty of the people to make necessary changes. I believe most Chinese people would feel the same way about this idea…

However, many Chinese people accept the notion that, for quicker and faster development, Chinese people should be in unison, forego their opinions and beliefs, and allow the government to direct China’s developmental process on its own terms. The “Economist” even credited China’s Communist government for China’s rapid economic development. For example, in our system of government, we have so many congressmen and lawmakers whose opinions are often so conflicting that it is very difficult to pass new legislation. This, of course, is mainly driven by the congressmens’ constituency – people like you and me who have the power to vote a person into office. It is often a game of political balance, whereby the politician has to please both the voters and the lobbyists (aka big business).

So, China has inherited a host of problems – Western imperialism, poor developmental and population mismanagement, political suppression via freedom and education – which China is now trying to overcome. In the face of this, China is making strides in becoming one of the world’s superpowers, and for this, I give China a lot of respect.

What’s more, I know that change can often be slow and arduous, and so I, as well as the rest of the world, should be patient; not only for China, but also for many Western practices to be changed. However, in matters of human rights, violence, freedom and peace, patient will and should wear thin quickly…

Being American in China

I have been meaning to add more thoughts to this blog as new ideas arise; interesting topics are discussed and revealed to me. I have about 20 minutes before my next class, so I think it's a good time to jot down some aspects of Chinese society which I have contemplated and learned from others.

When I find moments of reflection, I often like to analyze my place in Chinese society and my overall experience as a teacher in this country. Coming back for the second semester has really been quite different from my first semester of teaching in China. Before, everything seemed so new and exciting; I was like a child in an amusement park -- all the rides seemed very big and grand. But, now China, and moreso Tianjin, has become my "home."

In this way, I no longer see myself as an "outsider," but just another resident among the local people. As a result, it's harder for me to separate my cultural tendencies from theirs -- my "sensitivity" towards Chinese culture has been somewhat... dulled. I might have mentioned this in a previous blog, but this kind of transition into another society is often good and bad. It allows me to truly experience China as a local; I take public transportation everyday; I come face-to-face with a lot of China's frustrating moments.

However, I too often approach these Chinese situations as an American. I expect a speedy, efficient service (as any other American), but then I am met with some of China's drawbacks in their overall organization and management; my patience wears thi and I begin to break down. I suppose it is because I can readily see the flaws; or, it could simply be that I haven't been exposed to it for so long that I still allow it to "bother" me. In other words, I feel that most Chinese people do recognize problems within their country, but they have lived with it for so long, that it almost becomes "background noise" for them; like a thorn in your side that you can't pick out.

For example, one thing that really bugs me is the phrase "mei you." The literal translation of this phrase is "doesn't exist," and it can be used in almost any circumstance when you want to express something that is no longer available; something that hasn't happened. Anyway, many Chinese service workers seemed to be programmed like robots to execute these two syllables -- "mei you." They will say it so quickly that you don't even have a chance to ask, "what do you mean, 'mei you'?" It is almost as if this phrase is the answer to everything. Sometimes, it's blatantly obvious that they have chosen not to help you, because they will say it too fast for a moment's thought.

So, essentially, when they say "mei you," you are expected to understand this, not ask any questions and simply move on with your life. I really don't want to dwell anymore than I have to on this phrase, but it does highlight a very common trait among most Chinese people. It's this... solemn acceptance of "failure"; that, along with "mei you," you should just accept the way things are and not question your "hardships."

One of the other foreign teachers defined this as "Chinese contentment"; that most Chinese people lack any real ambition to change the way things are in their society; they are apathetic towards such things as pollution, corruption, or anything else that would normally irritate an American. I feel that most Americans rarely take "no" for an answer; we are usually very head-strong about our opinions and desires that simply saying "mei you" (which is essentially a negative reponse like "no") will not deter our ambition/drive.

Of course, by drawing up this quick contrast between "American" and "Chinese," I am obviously one-sided in this affair; I portray Americans as "strong" and "determined" people, whereas Chinese people are "weak" and "subservient." This, naturally, isn't a fair summary -- I should probably acknowledge the system of government, as well as the history and culture of both countries. That, in China, people have less of a "voice" when it comes to policy-making and -enforcement.

For example, almost everyone I know in Tianjin recognizes the city as a very dirty and almost uninhabitable place. Lily said she had read somewhere that Tianjin could very well be the 4th most polluted city in the world; yeah, world. One then has to ask, if the city is so dirty; if people dislike the environmental degradation; if people would like to have clear blue skies, then why don't they change their actions and environmental standards? Why not cut back on the pollution they are creating?

If you ask a Chinese person, they will almost automatically blame it on China's "development"; that, just like America, when America was developing, China too will have to undergo a period of environmental disregard in favor of "development." In my opinion, I think this is a very weak argument -- it's bullshit. In my view, I see this in 2 ways -- well, actually I see it in 1 way. I believe most people are led to believe such environmental degradation is inevitable and unavoidable for the sake of China's prosperity. But, I feel the government and many of China's corporations (yes, just like America) are the drive behind China's environmental disregard. To cut the costs and gain more profit, many Chinese companies and industries prefer the old methods (the use of nonrenewable resources such as coal and oil) over newer developmental techniques. And, in the process, the people here are, again, led to think that for the sake of their "motherland," they should accept the smoggy sky and contaminated water. Sure, America created a lot of environmental decay when it was "developing," but that was something like 200 years ago! Think about all the technology that is available today, such as solar power and microprocessors... I know, expensive, but there has to be less sophisticated methods for striking a balance between development and environmental conscientiousness.

On the other hand, often times, when I'm walking in a public place, I'll see a mother have her kid squat and either piss or take a dump on the sidewalk. Or, I'll see a Chinese person chuck their trash on the ground as if the trash will magically disappear into thin air. I confronted my friend Lu Kai about this and he said most Chinese people do this because it is more convenient and comfortable for them; they don't need to hold onto their trash for a moment longer until they find a trash bin...

So, in regard to a few things that I have come to really despise in China -- "mei you," apathy and environmental disregard -- I feel Chinese habits and a history of limited freedom in political/public affairs has led to these shortcomings in China.

It seems that these things never bothered me so much before (fall 2007), but now that I am becoming more of a "Chinese citizen" by living and working in this country, certain issues begin to arise and creep up above from the surface; these issues have also become a part of my daily life...

Moreover, I know that there might very well be some critical explanations for some of China's problems; and I will admit this is simply a rough sketch of my experiences (not to mention, a biased view towards Americans). But being an American in China, I can't help but think China has space for change and better development... that just as an American will not take "no" for an answer; or that an American would probably stand up for their beliefs, Chinese people will also one day put these behaviors into everyday practice and realize true development and progress...

From Ancient Times, Taiwan Is A Part of China

Today at school was an interesting experience for me. This term, I have made it mandatory that each group from my 7 classes see me at least one time for about 10-15 minutes. Though this seemed like a reasonable idea at first, it has proven to be mixed success. Now, I hardly have any free time when I go to Pearl River College, because when I’m not eating or teaching my classes, I am meeting with students.

However, today I began what has turned out to be an interesting dialogue with one group of students. Yesterday, I saw on television that China is not “happy” with Taiwan’s recent purchase of fighter jets from the U.S. So, I wanted to understand my students’ reaction to this issue – the issue of Taiwan’s relationship with both the U.S. and China. Of course, they were inclined to believe that Taiwan is and has always been a part of China; yes, the same situation with Tibet.

Yet, these students were still interested to hear what I had to say. I told them what I feel most Westerners believe – that Taiwan really isn’t part of China. If only I could have had a camera ready to record their reactions to this viewpoint… “shock” as they later described to me in a letter they wrote me.

So, the second half of this “debate” proved to be the most interesting. As it turned out, some of the students with whom I met had class with me later the same day. When it was time to call it a day and end class, these students approached me rather quickly and suspiciously. I wasn’t quite sure what they wanted to say or do, but before I could even speak a word, they handed to me what seemed like a college essay for some exam… I must admit, I was equally “shocked” by their response to mine.

The letter goes like this (verbatim):

“Dear Michael,

We are writing this letter just want to tell you a serious thing… You said Taiwan is not a part of China. We are shocked and very sorry to hear that… Being a member of Chinese, we have the responsibility to defend our motherland’s territorial integrity… From ancient times, Taiwan is part of China…”

Furthermore, they wrote:

“All of Chinese people believe that Taiwan will come back to her mother’s embrace, it is an unchangeable fact.”

According to their history, “Although Taiwan was ever occupied by foreign force… Especially Taiwan was occupied for nearly 50 years by Japan in the World War II.”

Now, first, I must admit, I am very impressed by their response. The fact that they were able to discuss such a complex issue in English and went out of their way to write a page and a half on this issue automatically gains my respect. In fact, it is my intention to write back to them, hoping to clarify some details and also to encourage them to further investigate the issue.

Although I know freedom of access to information is somewhat limited in China, and that any form of dissent towards the government is prohibited, I feel that I have a slight duty in this matter. I intend to explain to them that, as humans, we have the right to think for ourselves; that we should defend our own opinions and viewpoints; that we should investigate an issue from different angles.

I don’t want to openly say that I think the Chinese government is “wrong”; that they are “wrong.” In fact, it’s hard to say who is “right” and who is “wrong.” However, I do want to express my views on history and thinking. Even for my own educational background, I can be sure that there are many flaws in my thinking.

However, I am willing (and able) to admit that history is very much political and not always balanced in view; that we have to come to our own conclusions given solid data and support for our viewpoints. As of now, I'm still not sure what to believe when it comes to the Taiwan issue. Although the Chinese raise a good argument -- that they were at civil war during the time that Jiang Jie Shi (Cheng Kai-Shek) fled to Taiwan in exile -- this war occurred before the establishment of the P.R.C. (People's Republic of China). Would it then be a civil war?

It will be interesting to see how China reacts to the world this August for the 2008 Olympics. Already, several countries have begun to put pressure on China to change its stance on human rights. I feel that it is only a matter of time until things do change… just as slavery has ended in the US (although remnants of it remain), so too will China's approach towards its people…

YouTube

By the way, you can find more videos of me DJing at: http://www.youtube.com/user/mikebeeds

I decided to change my DJ name to "Mike Beeds" for various reasons; originality; avoiding the fatal error of mispronouncing "Blueshift." One of my friends at the club said he and his friends could have sworn that the MC called my name out as "Bullshit"... So, I think Mike Beeds will work better for me at the moment...

Taking The Time To Write

I apologize for neglecting to update my blog. Part of this is due to China's restrictions on blogging. Of course, part of it is also due to my laziness. However, Lily's grandfather and I had an interesting conversation this afternoon which reminded me of the importance of writing. He reminded me that it is important to take the time to write down your thoughts and experiences...

For Lily's grandfather, writing has become increasingly hard. Of course, he too is a bit lazy -- haha! But, I can understand that, with arthritis, dementia, and all the other unfortunate impairments that come with age, writing for Lily's grandfather is nearly impossible.

Today, he was recalling some old schoolmates he had in high school. Most of these classmates have since passed away, but during their time, some of them went on to become important figures in China. One of lao ye's classmates went on to become Tianjin's "president" (maybe lao ye meant mayor?). This classmate's aunt and uncle were also lao ye's teachers. He later starting naming different places he's been to in China (Shanghai, Hangzhou, Guilin, etc.).

In any case, lao ye was explaining that he has had many experiences; he has seen many things in life. Part of his life now consists of remembering the good old days; remembering the time when he was younger and was very much full of life (much in the same way as I am now).

However, with time, we begin to lose some of our memories (at least the minor details). For this reason, it becomes almost necessary that we write down our memories; or, at least do something to recall these moments in time.

Lately, I have been doing pretty much the same that I set out to do when I came back to China -- teach English, learn Chinese, and DJ. So far, it has been a lot of fun. Of course, with any routine, it starts to get old after some time. In fact, last night, I had contemplated my time in the club; if I should continue with it or move on now that I have experienced it. You know, the lights, the noise, the crowdedness, the smoke -- it takes a toll on one's health.

More importantly, I thought about the kind of impact I am making with DJing. For me, DJing has become my new passion, and with most passions, I am always excited to take this passion to new heights. First, it was basketball; however, my height and overall athleticism quickly dispelled my pursuits. But now, I am actually working and making money from DJing. I am consistently playing to a crowd of people. Of course, should I continue with DJing, I would like to take it to the next level.

For me, it has become a task; a goal that I am constantly working towards. I am always thinking of different ways to improve myself; practicing as a DJ, figuring out ways to market myself as DJ. I have to admit, it has been pretty fun. You know, I have the time and opportunity to do it now in my life, so I'm taking full advantage of it. I sort of see it as building a kind of "empire" for myself, which is what most DJs typically do as they become more successful; create your own record label; produce tracks; market yourself through the web (YouTube, etc.); meet people and make connections.

It really is a lot of fun... but, at the end of the day, what have I accomplished? What have most successful DJs accomplished? Fame? Wealth? But, what about the kind of impact they make on everyday people? I was thinking, with the amount of effort and passion I have put towards DJing, why can't I put it towards something like human rights? Why can't I become an activist and work towards making a better world for everyone? What can a DJ do for starving children in Africa? I know the last one is a bit cliche, but it rings true -- we should always ask ourselves what we are doing for the greater good.

Then, I thought, what about the happiness and fun I bring to people every night I go out and play? Can't I create a sort of escape for people with my DJing? Anyway, these have been some thoughts I recently had (last night, as a matter of fact).

Other than that, I have thought more about the following year. I am 99% certain that I will go back to the states in August (or possibly July, not sure). I want to finish out my contract (which ends in June) and then I want to do some traveling in July. Brian -- are you still coming out??

When I return, I will most likely stay in Austin. Lily and I are probably going to get a place together and I will try to find a full-time job doing... what, I don't know, haha. But, as I have done so far, I will be sure to make it interesting and exciting. I don't expect my first real job to be exciting and well-paid. However, with my hobbies, my girlfriend, and friends and family, life will still be very good :)

Here's a video from my DJing last night:

DJ Blueshift @ Scarlet

Here's a video of my DJing last weekend at Scarlet:



As it turns out, it looks like I'll be staying on board with the club for an "indefinite" period of time. Last weekend was crazy fun, Lily's parents, along with a big group of friends, came out to see me. Not only did they get to see me DJ this past weekend, but I also "MC"-ed for about an hour's time too, singing songs like Depeche Mode!

I'm having a great time right now, though my schedule has been really busy these days. Monday through Thursday I teach English, and immediately following, I get ready to DJ on the weekend. My only "downtime" is Sunday, really. But, as Brian once said, it's good to be busy. I hope I'll have a chance to keep up this schedule for some time now...

I'll have more videos in the near future for sure!

P.S. I finally got my laptop back -- it broke before I left for China and it took Toshiba nearly a month to repair it!

Keepin' Busy

How is everyone doing? It has been a while since I've talked with most of you, which is both good and bad. It sucks that I haven't had a chance to catch up on what everyone is doing, but at the same time it's good -- I think we have all kept busy in our lives, moving at least in some direction.

I apologize that I haven't done a better job of updating my blog. I feel it's a combination of sevearl things; laziness; internet issues; the novelty of things. I remember when I first set out on my "journey," when I was spending time in Japan, I felt that everyday was an incredible experience, something worth jotting down. Although each day still brings a new experience, it doesn't hit me full-force as it once did; I'm beginning to be able to predict the outcome of most days.

My classes are going well. I actually teach one more class than I did before, so my Thursday schedule is quite busy. From 8:30 to 11:45, I am teaching. Then, after my lunch break, I go back to teaching at 2:15 until 5:30. In between my classes, I have a 15 minute break, which is nice. Monday is a little easier, because I only have 3 classes on this day.

But, despite the predictability (i.e. I have finally adjusted fully to my new environment), I am still trying to keep things interesting, pursuing hobbies and trying to meet new people each day. In fact, yesterday was quite interesting. As most of you know, I enjoy music, and most of all, I enjoy sharing music with people. So, I thought it would be an interesting adventure to find myself a DJ job in China (either Beijing or Tianjin).

Well, Beijing wasn't so successful, because the one advantage I have -- being American -- doesn't carry much weight in China's capital. However, perhaps this will help to get my foot in the door in Tianjin, where foreigners are fewer in number. I went to a few clubs this past weekend to speak to managers and to inquire about possibly DJing for their club. Although a few clubs gave the usual shoot-down -- "we don't need anymore DJs at the moment" -- one club, Babi Club, actually showed some interest in me. So, they asked if I could come back yesterday (Tuesday) to "try out" for a DJ position.

Wow, what an exciting opportunity, right?! I was really pumped and excited that I might have a chance at DJing for a club in China. Clubs are a bit different here; they're very flashy, with many lights, ornaments and colors everywhere. Well, the excitement turned into anxiety and pressure for me when I showed back up at the club yesterday. My friend Chen Guan was also equally nervous for me. Of course, when you are nervous, everything seems to go wrong...

As one friend pointed out, I should have been more prepared. But, in my view, preparation comes with experience, right? The things which I was not prepared for were: technological issues (I should have expected this one by now). First off, my music wasn't compatible with one of the CD players the club has. Second, I was not entirely familiar with the CD players, although they are the same brand and style as the CD players I own; there's a function on my CD players which automatically cues the music for me (starts the track on a beat, which is crucial for mixing two songs). So, I quickly became flustered, because it seemed that everything was quickly stacking up as failure in front of the manager's eyes. My inability to control the equipment with mastery; my music failing on me.

Well, despite what seemed to be failure in my eyes, the manager, along with his boss, expressed interest in me. They said that I might have a chance to play for them for 1 hour this coming weekend and that they would "give me a call." As I've told my friends, I'm not expecting a call from them. I think it's better to assume the worst, so I won't be let down. And, it is still hard for me to read Chinese people; I'm not sure what they are thinking or what their next move will be. However, experience has told me not to expect too much from club managers, because business comes first. Unless you have name recognition or something considerable to bring to the table, they really have no interest in you. With that said, being American might just help me out (being American always seems to a life-saver, unless you find yourself in the Middle East!).

Other than that, I am also trying to pick up more work as an English teacher. This evening, Lily's mother will go with me to another school, where I will have an interview. If it works out, I should have another teaching job on the days when I'm not teaching (Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday). Wish me the best of luck!

Countdown to Beijing Return

I feel so ashamed that I have not been more consistent in blogging and keeping this thing more alive and fresh. In a way, this has become more an obligation than fun for me. I know, at first, that might sound like a bad thing, but in a way it's also good. Since I have graduated, I rarely find myself doing anything scholastic, aside from the everyday experiences I try to interpret. Along with that, I hardly write and, although I have hardly read much, I am pushing myself to do a better job. So, for me, this blog is somewhat of a writing assignment for me, much in the same way as what I previously did for one of my Anthropology courses.

Aside from that point, I have also experienced some technological difficulties. Before leaving for California, I discovered that my laptop's motherboard no longer functioned properly. As a result, I have been without my own computer for a few weeks now (oh no! kick, cry and scream!). As Eileen mentioned, it goes to show you how dependent many people have become with technology and the internet. This has been an ongoing issue for many of the teachers (including myself) at my school in China. For the first term, we made "ends meet" (such a funny expression in this context) without internet in our rooms. However, upon the delightful hint that we would be receiving internet in our rooms for this new term, we were quickly let down... but, when people are desperate for something, they find their ways of obtaining it.

So, I am here now, in what is called "B" Building of the university campus. It's about a 10-15 minute walk from our dormitory. For the most part, the walk across the university is nice. However, sometimes you can be caught off-guard with the weather. For example, this afternoon, it was quite warm, so I left without my jacket. When I was ready to go, it was late evening and it suddenly got chilly! As I mentioned in my email, the weather has been very nice so far in China, except for a few cold moments in Beijing.

I'm tempted to continue this entry about my recent happenings in Beijing, but I have tried to keep this blog in some sort of chronological order. You know, a lot happened during my remaining weeks which are worth noting.

I think my best moments were with my friends in San Antonio and the time I spent with Brian and Lily (individually -- unfortunately). I was overly flattered and felt quite appreciated by the outgoingness of Vinnie and my other friends who had two parties for me in San Antonio. These were both very special nights for me, when I got to DJ for everyone and, for a short moment, felt somewhat like a celebrity; I thank you all from the bottom of my heart, I could never ask for better friends!

It was also very nice to be somewhat at "home" again when I went up to Ft. Worth to visit my family. We all had a chance to enjoy the Super Bowl, along with pizza and good fun. The day before, everyone took me out to eat for my birthday at P.F. Chang's, which was, although Americanized, still very delicious. I also had a great time with my cousin Chris, who will be attending the University of Texas at Arlington this fall. He has been a very close cousin to me (my closest), and I was very happy to help him in any way I could. After all, I was blessed to have Brian, my mom and my grandparents when I began college; at the very least, I hope I was able to motivate Chris just a little more.

Although my time in Texas was short (apologies), it made the 12 hour flight very worthwhile and rewarding! My last destination before going back to China was California. Although I visited Brian and Eileen the previous summer, I did not have a chance to see San Francisco, which was the first place Lily and I visited. Despite some hard emotional times, Lily and I were still able to enjoy some of the city, along with Alcatraz. I think we both really enjoyed the city tour offered to us by a local, which took us around the city and across the Golden Gate bridge. He had a lot of interesting facts to share with us as we passed some of the various districts/neighborhoods of San Francisco (which I would like to mention in my next entry). I think my favorite moment was when Lily and I walked from Fisherman's Wharf over to Lombardt St, where we walked down the crooked street. After that, we both sat down in a nestled stairway as we ate some of her yummy Ghihardelli chocolate. I also enjoyed carrying Lily up three flights of stairs too <3

The last of my California trip involved camping with Brian near Pfeiffer Beach, which was an amazing experience. We spent part of the afternoon at the beach, exploring different spots along the coast. Brian was really "jazzed" by an accessible rock that was somewhat out in the ocean, where the waves crashed. It was sort of suspenseful at times, because the waves would come in cycles, yet their force varied. Further back into a grove area, we found a place up on a short cliff where some people had built a swing from one of the trees. It was amazing and awe-inspiring to say the least.

I wish I could add more at the moment, but it is getting close to my curfew time (11pm), so I've got to make it back to my room now.

Mike

Stateside Once Again

Wow, it has been a long time since I last touched this... well, my excuses are half-valid; I wanted to surprise people about my return, so I didn't think it would be wise to update my blog; or, what else would I talk about?

I have also been catching up with friends and eating a lot of the foods I missed while over in China; yeah, despite how delicious Chinese food can be, they still lack some of the best dishes, like chicken fried steak!

Well, I my return to the U.S. began with spending time up north in the Chicago/Wisconsin area. The first night I got back, Lily and I drove up to Milwaukee from Chicago, where we met up with her host family. The following day was somewhat hellish, because Lily's host family was in the process of moving and I felt somewhat obliged to help; I think it was good for me, because I need to be less selfish/spoiled sometimes. After all, her host family allowed us to stay with them (for free), and they have helped Lily out in the past.

After spending a few days with them, Lily and I ventured down to Milwaukee, staying with Lily's friend, Sarah. I felt somewhat lame during this part of the trip, because I had been severely suffering form jet-lag. Each night, when the clock struck between the hours of 8:30 pm and 9:00, I became a zombie; nothing felt better than resting my head on a pillow. I understand that it is the worst when you come back from a country that is across the Pacific Ocean (the time zone crossover in this part of the world); that day I flew, I had relived the same day twice.

So, my New Year's was very lame; I think I went to bed sometime around 10:00 pm (lame). Well, it doesn't bother me too much that I'm trading off my experiences and good moments; I had so many great moments in China that one bad night of New Year's didn't phase me. Still, I felt bad for Lily, because she sacrificed her night of fun for me just the same. I keep telling her that she should be more selfish.

However, things sort of picked up once we went back down to Chicago, which was the last leg of our Midwest trip. Here's how it went:

Just as quickly as I flew into Chicago, I was blown back out. Really, my 4-5 days in the windy city was as fast as a heartbeat, subway hopping and walking from one district to the next. It was my second time in Chicago, but Lily and I were both able to enjoy just the same as the first time.

This time, we made our efforts to cover more ground, venturing outside of the “loop” and into some of the various ethic spots. We visited such places as “Greektown,” “Little Italy” and we made our way over to Pilsen Village, where you can experience a little of “mexicanidad.” This is a new term for me, one that I learned at the Mexican Fine Arts Museum in Chicago. Basically, it is a term which tries to encompass everything that is “Mexican” – a type of identity with which most, if not all, Mexicans and Hispanic people can relate.

I spoke to a woman who works at a tea shop in the area and she said that it is quickly becoming a “hip” spot, meaning that the neighborhood will most likely undergo a lot of changes in several years to come. Much like Wicker Park, Pilsen (the largely Mexican neighborhood) will soon become “home” to yuppies and bohemian artists who have a lot of money to spare. As is the case for many urban neighborhoods with an artistic “image” and interesting historic background, Pilsen will be swallowed up by wealth and consequently evict its current residents – a phenomenon known as “gentrification.” As the tea shop lady put it, it’s a catch-22; that Pilsen should undergo more development, but subsequently force longstanding residents to leave due to rising real estate.

We really enjoyed our time at the museum, reading up on the treatment of Central America’s indigenous people; from the continual oppression they face to their syncretic religion and somewhat successful immersion into mainstream Hispanic society. Like other indigenous people, along with Africans, the Aztecs merged their polytheistic religion based on nature gods with that of the “saints” found in Catholicism.

As for Greektown and Little Italy, we found some worthwhile restaurants which served their respective foods; Lily and I had Italian subs from a mom-pop store in Little Italy – wasn’t too bad. I think the most interesting cuisine experience was an Ethiopian restaurant we found near the Green Mill. The Green Mill is a well-known night pub, where you can watch and experience live performances, ranging from poetry slam to organs and big band; they say Al Capone visited this place from time to time.

It was the first time that both Lily and I tried Ethiopian food. Not sure what to do, we began to break up what seemed to be sourdough bread and dipped it into the two dishes we ordered; one was some kind of beef and the other was a premier Ethiopian ritual choice for chicken. The chicken drumsticks were bathed in a kitchen-made sauce full of different ingredients. We both noticed that Ethiopian meals largely consist of sauce-based foods with which you can dip your bread in. We weren’t super crazy about our Ethiopian cuisine experience, but it was interesting nonetheless; actually, there’s a Moroccan place we really enjoy in Lincoln Park.

However, probably the best experience we had in Chicago was getting to see “Wicked,” the musical. Wow, I really don’t even know where to begin with describing it. Many times, I found the hair on my back standing up, with a tingly feeling running down my entire body. The music was both catchy and emotionally charged, with breathtaking stage designs and effects. The score for the musical had various contrasts between the singers and the instrumentation which really brought out the vocals and also my emotions with inside.

My favorite part of the musical came before intermission, when Elpheba and Glenda perform “Defy Gravity.” In this scene, Elpheba (who is the “Wicked Witch of the West”), discovers that the Wizard of Oz is not as grandiose, amazing, nor as virtuous as she had once thought. In fact, in the musical, the wizard takes on the antagonist role, rather than the witch; this is Wicked’s main twist of the original “Wizard of Oz” story. There are many other interesting connections between the original and the reworked version, which makes the musical not only intelligent, but fun and interesting.

The best part of it all was that Lily and I got to sit front row! They have been doing a regular drawing before every show, where they will pick a group of names out of the hat for a chance at front row (orchestra) seating; although the seating is not free, it is the same cost as balcony seats. The interesting side to this story is that Lily and I almost forwent the drawing so we could enjoy a deep dish pizza at Giordano’s; well, the interesting part to this is that I clearly remember telling Lily, “We’re not going to win this, we never win…”

Here’s a YouTube clip of “Defying Gravity,” probably the best song from the Wicked score:

Christmas in the Far East

I “celebrated” Christmas by living any other day of my life in China. I woke up, checked email, chatted with mama and baba in Chinese and then was rushed off for lunch with friends/family. Being 6000 miles away from home, I sort of expected a change of routine in my life, especially with American holidays.

However, China has quickly changed its habits and practices with the onset of Western integration into Chinese society. This, I feel, is both a blessing and a tragedy around the world. Wherever you go, as a Westerner, you never feel too far from home. For a person who is homesick, this is quite comforting. On the other hand, for the soul-searching adventurer, it is somewhat upsetting that you can’t entirely escape the grasps of Western consumerism and business. Likewise, for the Anthropologist, differences in culture become somewhat blurred and you are no longer dealing with an isolated group of people.

With that said, nothing will ever exactly be replicated. When the Chinese celebrate Thanksgiving, they do so with a different bird other than turkey; I celebrated my Chinese Thanksgiving with pigeon. At the same time, outside the realm of business and such places as Pizza Hut, most Chinese families still do not overtly celebrate such holidays as Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Most Chinese people will agree that it is more of a youthful thing to embrace American holidays. As I mentioned in my email, going out to the pub for a drink, or meeting up with friends at McDonald’s is a simple, yet pleasant way to feel “American” for a moment.

Now that I have mentioned the obvious, I can say that I did not miss Christmas at all. I don’t want this to cause offense for anyone, but I feel that “gifts” and the presence of God (Jesus Christ) – for those who believe –are ever around me. Each day I breathe and live, these are my precious gifts. Likewise, I celebrate the “birth” of Jesus by embracing this life and opportunity with great passion. So, whether I am stepping foot on the Asian continent, or walking along the ocean of Fernando de Noronha, I try to remain enlightened. This enlightenment comes with the knowledge of knowing that life is short, yet in life, nothing is short at all.

Sure, our physical abilities have limits, but our mind can reach great depths. We can never go hundreds of years back in time to witness the decline of the Ming Dynasty, but our imagination can bring to life the pages in a history book. Likewise, when I put on my headphones and allow the music to flow, I can ponder creation, the origin of the universe and my purpose in life.

I agree, such things as poverty, one’s natural disposition and one’s environment can place limits on the mind’s ability to exceed. With this in mind, I look upon the opportunities I have had in life with extreme gratitude. I also attempt in every way to extend my life-given opportunities to others. I believe others have enough problems to understand and realize the struggles of life; they do not need me to “remind” them. However, I can remind them of the good things in life. This, I believe, is the “Christmas gift” I try to give to everyone, each and every day.

Tianjin Explorations

I thought it would be proper to explore my new town, so here are some pictures of the Nankai district in Tianjin. Here you can visit Tianjin's TV tower, as well as Tianjin's water park ("shui shang gong yuan"):

China: A Lesson in Cultural Sensitivity

“A friend once told me that, if you ever want to complain, you should do so with a foreigner.”

This was what Ryan, another foreign teacher, had to say to me over dinner last night. We touched on a series of issues which I think touch every foreigner’s life in China; and not just China, but other countries as well. These are the issues which could be subsumed under the heading of “culture shock”; such issues as privacy, and social norms for human interaction and relationships.

Back to Ryan’s comment – we both agree that “complaining” about one’s shortcomings towards a native isn’t a very fruitful action, and for a number of reasons. First, it seems that China has this over abundance of national pride which can be felt in almost all Chinese. I believe this is owed to a number of reasons itself; I think it is a “natural” outcome for a communist country, considering that, in the 20^th century, many communist states actively pursued propagandist tactics and did whatever else they could to maintain their credibility; China should be proud of its heritage, given the fact that China is one of the oldest civilizations in the world; people naturally feel an affinity towards their nation, as if the nation is part of them.

This last point is interesting in that it also affects me (I believe). Normally I tend not to follow the wave of patriotism in America – flag flying, flag decals on vehicles, Civil War reenactments, etc. However, in times that I have encountered criticism of my country from my foreign friends back home, I do find myself feeling somewhat offended and “having” to defend my country. Again, it’s as if I am having to defend who I am and everything which stands for me. After all, all that is America – football games, a bowl of cereal, Thanksgiving, barbeque, Texas – comprise my childhood background and are the elements of my life.

Ryan had asked himself if he were doing himself an injustice by holding back on his comments of Chinese society and life in Tianjin; or if he were doing the correct thing by glossing over (“sugarcoating”) his thoughts as he expressed them towards his Chinese students and friends. Ryan (as well as me) is a firm believer in being true to oneself – that you shouldn’t put on an “act” for others. However, I do admit, I often give into self-monitoring and social norms. In other words, I end up acting a certain way to please others in a given moment, despite the truth that it doesn’t accurately represent my personality and views on life.

With that said though, I think it is a natural outcome that we should feel the need to take on different roles for different people. As Anthropology and life experience have shown me, our “self” – the person who we perceive ourselves to be – is a concoction of others. In other terms, your self-definition is not only defined by you, but it is also defined by the people with whom you associate and spend most of your time. You know, if enough people tell you that your Elvis Presley, you might begin to believe that you really are (maybe not, but you might for a second play with the idea).

Marc often cites Jean-Paul Sartre on this very issue; that often times, “people can be hell.” I’m sure many of you often dislike that feeling of not being at liberty to express your feelings or thoughts around certain people. You almost feel as if others are trying to “control” you and your behavior.

However, in the case of being a foreigner in China, there really isn’t anyone specific who is “controlling” you, but it is you who is controlling your actions and beliefs. When you are in a foreign environment, you no longer have familiar ques to guide your reactions towards others’ behavior, because first of all, the behavior itself is different. Second, you can’t really guess how others will react to your reaction. So, if you have any sensibility, you’ll put the brakes on some of your immediate responses towards others.

I failed to mention that our self-definition is also the result of an inherited culture and history at birth; that being American already defines your core (who you are). I know this is an obvious statement – I was born in America, so of course I’m American. But, I think a lot of times the “obvious” becomes somewhat obscured by its everyday presence. It’s like thinking about walking when you are walking; no one really has to think about it anymore, because it becomes “second nature.”

I think this is exactly what gets a lot of people in trouble, especially when they are caught in a foreign environment. When you finally realize that you are “no longer in Kansas anymore,” wow – you better watch out! It begins to play tricks with your thinking and emotions. I think this is what causes the “U-shape” emotional experience that most people warn you against before you leave for another country. That is, in the beginning, everything is exciting and new, but once you have hit a routine, you find yourself in a slump. Little things start to annoy and irritate you; such as the way people walk, how they smile, the way they dress and comb their hair, how they eat their meals.

You no longer allow room for cultural sensitivity. Rather, you become too quick to judge others and their actions. You ask yourself, “why can’t they just do it right?” Well, what exactly is “right”? I think the lines do become blurred between “right” and “wrong” when you give space for cultural differences. This is actually an ongoing debate in the field of Anthropology, especially in terms of foreign intervention. When should an Anthropologist step in and say, “Hey, I think what you are doing as a cultural practice is incorrect and a harm to society”?

It truly is a challenge to remain level-headed and to maintain a sensitive approach towards other cultures. You know, we throw this word around – “culture” – as if we know exactly what it means. Well, I will be the first to admit that I can’t really describe this word or accurately define it for you (another Anthropological dilemma). And, even with a scholastic background in culture and in the field of Anthropology, I often find myself bewildered with Chinese social habits; what’s more, I want to easily denounce some of these habits as “ignorant” or “completely unnecessary.”

Of course, this is too rash of a decision for someone like me who hopes to better understand others. What’s more, this leads to a lot of the misunderstandings which people have for one another. As my students have said in class, “with the rise of technology, the world is smaller and smaller.” Contact with other countries is more real now and quite uncomfortably close. It’s like our technology is undoing the work of tectonic forces. All of the countries are coming back together – man is playing his global puzzle and each country is just one piece of the puzzle. If we wish to avoid tearing off the artwork of each puzzle piece, we have to be culturally more sensitive.

The Teaching Rollercoaster

I have a lot to say for my experiences over the past week. As I mentioned in my previous blog entry, I took part in my school’s English speaking competition as a judge. To say the very least, it was very entertaining and enjoying. I was surprised by the speaking abilities of some of the contests. Actually, I feel that they all could, more or less, carry on a conversation. Of course, they still need work with their pronunciation in much the same way that I need more work with my tones.

What the contest highlighted for me once more is the influence the West has had all over the world. It is an understatement to simply say that the West has been important in the last century. The fact that all Chinese, since primary school, have had English as a compulsory course reflects the role of the West in business, development and international relations.

However, I wonder what language might be the next important? Brian and I had talked about this once before. All other countries’ people are expected to learn English in school. Well, what about English-speaking countries such as the U.S., England and Australia? What language should we be expected to study and learn? Spanish? Chinese?

I thought this would be a good question to ask one of the contestants in the competition. Well, the result wasn’t so profound or intellectually stimulating; I’m not sure if this is due to the limits of speaking English, or if most students in China lack critical thinking (this is what Ryan, Sean and Mr. Brown assume). As for me, I know no question has a simple answer (pun unintended), and I’m sure that some students are bright, whereas other students still need development in their thinking. Of course, the contestant said Chinese should be the language for English-speakers to study, but I don’t really remember what else she had to say (it was either spoken to slowly or in chopped-up thoughts that I could not follow).

It’s not that I have a negative attitude or disinterest in my or other students at school, but I’ve noticed that lately, my mind has been wandering. For example, yesterday in class, my students gave a presentation on technology and development. I have to say, I was really ecstatic to see the first class’ performance; one group even made a PowerPoint presentation with pictures! However, the remaining two classes sort of just trailed downhill, reaching the bottom of no creativity. At that point, I remember sort of just gazing into “no man’s land.” I was asking myself if I have failed as a teacher, as well as evaluating my first semester’s performance. I wanted to know what I had done wrong and what I could do to improve my teaching for the next term.

I think I need to completely change the structure of my class, and have it more presentation-based. Although the presentations were mixed in their success, they did force the students to stand in front of the class and speak English.

1. My classes can have 10 presentations, which will be their grade

I don’t think I will give exams or writing assignments like I did this semester.

1. With exams, some students will only come to class on exam day

2. I lack a T.A., so I am stuck doing all the grading myself (it really sucks!)

I think I was a little ambitious with the mid-term. I had my students not only do an oral exam, but I also had them answer 10 reading/listening questions. In hindsight, emphasizing writing was a poor move on my part. After all, my classes are “Oral English” and the students already have other classes that focus on writing. However, my decision came after discovering my students’ reluctance to speak English in class. I also figured that, if their writing were to improve out of continuous practice, it would somehow enhance their ability to speak as well. Well, I’m not so sure that this was such great thinking…

As Liu lao shi said, teaching is one of the most (well, I think he said the most) challenging professions. I believe this, given the human dynamic of teaching. After all, you are not working with inanimate objects, but students who are complex individual thinkers. These students have different needs; their motivations are different. With that, you still need to find a method to encourage/motivate them all, and have some kind of meaningful impact on their lives.

The Joys and Challenges of Teaching

Yesterday was another high point in my experiences thus far in China. My school hosted an English speaking contest for students of all majors. Naturally, several students from the English department participated, along with students from International Accounting.

Normally, I go to my school twice a week to teach my classes. When I am not teaching, I usually stay within the city's boundaries, either spending time at the main campus, or staying with Lily's parents (on the weekends).

As a result, the time I have with my students is very limited, unless I decide to go out of my way to make the 1 hour trip to my school even on non-teaching days. Not to mention, most of my students have busy schedules, so they would only be able to meet up with me during certain times of the day.

However, yesterday's English competition allowed me to spend the afternoon and late evening at school, where I was able to meet with my students outside of class. My school asked if I could be a judge in their competition; they said they'd provide transportation back to the main campus after the competition was over.

I took this opportunity to invite as many students as I could for dinner. A few of my students who regularly see me -- Anthony and Christina -- also helped to arrange our dinner. It was one of the greatest moments as a teacher -- to be able to develop a closer/stronger connection with my students. At the table, we ended up having 10 students show up for dinner! I was oozing with joy and excitement.

As most of you know, although I can be a selfish person at times, one of the greatest joys in life for me is to see others happy and in harmony. One of the best moments is when all of my friends can come together in harmony, when we all can enjoy each other's company. This has to be one of the best characteristics of China; most of my students know each other, and they are all very good friends with each other. So, I was able to invite several students from some of my 6 classes, and it was more like a reunion between friends :)

Although some of them were shy, most of them seemed happy to see me outside of my role as "teacher." You know, I am a down-to-Earth guy and I have repeatedly told them that this job is more than just teaching and giving grades. They too wish to develop a friendship with me, one that can lead to a greater relationship between the U.S. and China.

I want to leave an imprint on their lives, though this goal is quite ambitious. However, with a genuine smile and an outgoing/happy personality, I think I can make life a little different for my students. Some of them have already asked me about the future of my teaching and stay in China. They were happy to hear that I would be in China for another semester to teach :)

I never thought that it would become this way, but I too have developed a strong attachment for my students. I even began considering a contract extension, so that I could stay on board for another year...

I think this might be one of the hardest aspects of teaching. Each year, you are given a new set of students, some good and some bad. However, indifferent to your feelings and attachment to your students, you are forced to say "goodbye" each year to the ones you have taught and enjoyed.

For the moment, my students have sort of become my "family," a family that I don't want to see disunited. Cathy and Nadia, the other foreign teachers, have also developed this feeling for their students. The good moments seem to come and go too quickly. We all wish that we had more time with our students this year.

I'm not really sure what the future will be of my schedule, and I am not sure if I will be teaching the same students next year. However, this is something which I hope for with all of my heart. This I realized as we passed the food around the table; when I felt a stronger connection with my students...

I'll write more on the competition in my next blog.

Remembering Tokyo

I would like to go back to Tokyo someday soon...

照品 (Zhao Pin) "Pictures"

Here are pictures from Lily's return home:

Here, we all went to visit Lily's grandparents. They were so happy to see her; abu (grandma) cried, because she didn't get to say "goodbye" to Lily the last time Lily left China...


Here, we are with Lily's cousin and cousins' future wife! We're also in the new apartment:

In this picture, Lily and Lu Kai (with Wang Ying and I) are in the back of a rickshaw (it's a like a little carriage attached to the back of a bicycle):


We're all at "Ying Kou Dao," a popular shopping district in Tianjin:

Lily and I at the new apartment ^_^ :

Thanksgiving in Tianjin. We ate with Lily's mom's co-worker, Lu Da Da, and one of their friends who has helped out mama's school in the past. This night was interesting because, after drinking quite a bit, Lu Da Da had a few things to say which should have been left unspoken, haha ;)


Lily and baba in the same evil hotel where I had to say "goodbye" to Lily before...

But, it was still very enjoying, because we celebrated Lily's birthday early! Her birthday is on December 4th ;)


The cake is a little lopsided, because I wasn't careful when I carried it back to the hotel >_<
It was still a great surprise for Lily, because while she and mama baba were in the restaurant, I snuck into a bakery next door and had them quickly make a cake! :D


It was a lot of fun. I know there will be plenty of more experiences to enjoy in the future :)

"The Return of Lily"

--The title should be more heart-felt and romantic, but I had to make a reference to Star Wars.--

I should first say, I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. It is the second holiday (in my view) so far that I was not able to experience, having been in China for almost 4 months now; the first was Halloween. Sure, you had Labor Day, and several other US holidays, but for me, I have always enjoyed Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years.

Well, I didn't feel too homesick, because my girlfriend came back for the week! Words can't express the many emotions that ran through my head as baba and I waited for Lily at the Beijing airport... Although my situation is very minor in comparison to many other couples out there in the world -- many military men don't see their family for years -- I was finally able to experience the beauty of reunion between two lovers. I can now appreciate the many times I see troops wishing their families "Happy Christmas" over the television, or when people feel a rush of excitement at the airport when they see their loved ones once again...

It's that feeling when your heart is thumping, many thoughts/memories are racing through your head, and you feel that you have finally come home to something. Even though Lily came to me, I felt that I was momentarily back home in Austin, like the many times Lily would ride her bike over to my apartment.

However, interestingly, and Lily admitted to this as well, it wasn't quite like home anymore. You know, when you're home, everything feels normal and comfortable, or at least that's how things should be. Except, when I reunited with Lily inside KFC, it wasn't the same -- it felt different. In fact, I had to hold and touch her for quite a while to know that it really was her again... I'm sure I made others around me feel the same awkwardness, but I wanted to smell her again; feel her face and her hair against mine; kiss her once more. It was like taking a shower after camping for 5 straight days. Haha, you know that feeling Brian; it's a great feeling of relief.

With that said, it really didn't take long for us to get back into the "swing of things" once again. In fact, we even argued some, just like an old couple would over dinner.

I should say that, with the mixture of the old and the new, things truly are different from what they once were. People might ask, "Is that a good or a bad thing?" I would like to say "neither," but if I had to choose, I guess I would say "good." As my friend Marc likes to put it, "change is good." I finally felt somewhat of a change in myself through my interaction with Lily. At least, this is what I tell myself. I mean, surely I've changed after spending close to 4 months in an entirely new environment, right?

Likewise, I'm sure Lily has changed, having lived with two of her friends with whom she never lived before. I think individually, our chemistry has changed. Moreover, our chemistry together subsequently has changed as well. Not to mention, my relationship with Lily's parents has greatly developed, which changes the outlook Lily and I have for each other. You know, I'm not just a simple boyfriend anymore, one with whom you can periodically date. At the same time, Lily means much more to me now (not that she didn't mean anything to me before).

I believe this has a great influence on our relationship now. I think it makes both of us more sensitive towards each other in the sense that we have greater expectations which we wish to be fulfilled. She wants me to "always" be happy; I want her to "always" agree with what I say; I want this; she wants that. In a way, it is almost like being married, but without a ring and a huge wedding bill waiting to be paid off...

I'm not saying it's a bad thing -- but it certainly is different from the way things were back in February. I think the best thing that Lily and I have for each other is "care." One of Josh's friends in South Korea told me that, for a woman to argue with you, or for her to become "irrational" -- get upset over something "little" -- shows that she actually cares about you. If a woman thought of you as just some play thing, or someone who was only temporary in your life, maybe she wouldn't care that all of your co-workers are female, or that you were leaving for another country; maybe she'd just dump you...

Moreover, I feel that Lily and I are also willing to admit to our faults/mistakes, which takes an ounce of pride away (maybe more, depending on the mistake). In my mind, great communication requires apologies once in a while, as well as humbleness on the part of each communicator. It really means a lot to me when Lily says she's "sorry," or that she made a mistake. It is also important for me to sometimes owe our arguments to a mistake I made, because I know neither of us is perfect.

Alma once said that, "to really know a person, to develop a deep connection with the person, you have to argue." Well, maybe I changed the words up a bit, but she said that you really don't know a person if you haven't argued with them on a consistent basis.

I love you Lily...

"South and North" -- The Chinese Take

So, we were in the car on our way to the airport to drop off Lily, and her mother had the following to say about “southerners”:

Like Jewish people, [Chinese] southerners are hardworking, save their money and are (in comparison to northerners) smarter.

It seems that some stereotypes are more global than we imagined …

It’s interesting in that China, like the US, is divided up into a “north” and “south” region. More interesting is that the qualities mama attributed to the southerners are (in my opinion) a reversal with respect to the US. There was a website which rated the IQ of Americans by the state in which they preside and all the northern states were (on average) smarter than the southern states; they did this around the time of the 2004 elections to reflect attributes related to party affiliation. I also feel that throughout American history, northern states have typically been the “first” with such areas as industrialization, emancipation, suffrage, etc.

Considering that our country almost split as a result of a civil war, I am somewhat surprised that China managed to remain united itself. If you take into account language and culture, in some ways, the north is almost like another country with respect to the southern area of China. One anthropologist/social scientist once said that the greatest barrier between societies and their cultures is language. This is because language is a mode of communication through which we can better understand one another. Once you have learned a language, you will begin to see that differences aren’t as great as you once thought before... however, in the case of north and south China, Mandarin and Cantonese appear to be completely different from each other, only hanging together on a tiny “traditional” thread. My girlfriend can read traditional Chinese, but spoken Cantonese for her is like “Greek to me.”

I believe Mao Ze Dong’s province lies in the south too. I should know this, but I am not really sure why Mao chose Beijing as the next (and current) capital of China. Lily’s father mentioned that, throughout Chinese history, the capital has moved to different locations throughout China, having once been in the south.

Supposedly on the day of Mao Zedong’s death, China experienced a massive earthquake which killed close to 200,000 people. Mao Zedong also met with a fortune teller who mentioned a set of numbers that represented how long he would rule and at what age he would die.

Another Chinese superstition is that, if a pot of tea is pointing at you, it will bring you bad fortune; this at least a Tianjin belief, so many people have their pot of tea pointing away from the table.

Speaking of “folklore,” I am looking through a book I bought on North Korea. It talks about Kim-Il Sung, the predecessor of Kim Jong-Il, in the first chapter. Supposedly, Kim-Il Sung was revered as the “next coming of Christ” who raised the north of Korea out of Japanese imperialist “shackles.” What’s more amazing is that many North Koreans sincerely believed this biased view. Kim-Il Sung was father to all North Koreans and to “prove” this, most parentless children from the Korean War were “adopted” by Kim-Il Sung during the formidable years of North Korea.

This followed Kim-Il Sung’s supposed single-hand defeat of the Japanese imperialists, along with the Americans who tried to “recapture” Korea. According to “the books,” Kim-Il Sung and his guerrilla army, without help from anyone else (including the Chinese), were able to fight off imperialist incursions on their land.

Well, so far that is what I’ve read. I will continue to read more and share what I learn along the way.