China: A Lesson in Cultural Sensitivity

“A friend once told me that, if you ever want to complain, you should do so with a foreigner.”

This was what Ryan, another foreign teacher, had to say to me over dinner last night. We touched on a series of issues which I think touch every foreigner’s life in China; and not just China, but other countries as well. These are the issues which could be subsumed under the heading of “culture shock”; such issues as privacy, and social norms for human interaction and relationships.

Back to Ryan’s comment – we both agree that “complaining” about one’s shortcomings towards a native isn’t a very fruitful action, and for a number of reasons. First, it seems that China has this over abundance of national pride which can be felt in almost all Chinese. I believe this is owed to a number of reasons itself; I think it is a “natural” outcome for a communist country, considering that, in the 20^th century, many communist states actively pursued propagandist tactics and did whatever else they could to maintain their credibility; China should be proud of its heritage, given the fact that China is one of the oldest civilizations in the world; people naturally feel an affinity towards their nation, as if the nation is part of them.

This last point is interesting in that it also affects me (I believe). Normally I tend not to follow the wave of patriotism in America – flag flying, flag decals on vehicles, Civil War reenactments, etc. However, in times that I have encountered criticism of my country from my foreign friends back home, I do find myself feeling somewhat offended and “having” to defend my country. Again, it’s as if I am having to defend who I am and everything which stands for me. After all, all that is America – football games, a bowl of cereal, Thanksgiving, barbeque, Texas – comprise my childhood background and are the elements of my life.

Ryan had asked himself if he were doing himself an injustice by holding back on his comments of Chinese society and life in Tianjin; or if he were doing the correct thing by glossing over (“sugarcoating”) his thoughts as he expressed them towards his Chinese students and friends. Ryan (as well as me) is a firm believer in being true to oneself – that you shouldn’t put on an “act” for others. However, I do admit, I often give into self-monitoring and social norms. In other words, I end up acting a certain way to please others in a given moment, despite the truth that it doesn’t accurately represent my personality and views on life.

With that said though, I think it is a natural outcome that we should feel the need to take on different roles for different people. As Anthropology and life experience have shown me, our “self” – the person who we perceive ourselves to be – is a concoction of others. In other terms, your self-definition is not only defined by you, but it is also defined by the people with whom you associate and spend most of your time. You know, if enough people tell you that your Elvis Presley, you might begin to believe that you really are (maybe not, but you might for a second play with the idea).

Marc often cites Jean-Paul Sartre on this very issue; that often times, “people can be hell.” I’m sure many of you often dislike that feeling of not being at liberty to express your feelings or thoughts around certain people. You almost feel as if others are trying to “control” you and your behavior.

However, in the case of being a foreigner in China, there really isn’t anyone specific who is “controlling” you, but it is you who is controlling your actions and beliefs. When you are in a foreign environment, you no longer have familiar ques to guide your reactions towards others’ behavior, because first of all, the behavior itself is different. Second, you can’t really guess how others will react to your reaction. So, if you have any sensibility, you’ll put the brakes on some of your immediate responses towards others.

I failed to mention that our self-definition is also the result of an inherited culture and history at birth; that being American already defines your core (who you are). I know this is an obvious statement – I was born in America, so of course I’m American. But, I think a lot of times the “obvious” becomes somewhat obscured by its everyday presence. It’s like thinking about walking when you are walking; no one really has to think about it anymore, because it becomes “second nature.”

I think this is exactly what gets a lot of people in trouble, especially when they are caught in a foreign environment. When you finally realize that you are “no longer in Kansas anymore,” wow – you better watch out! It begins to play tricks with your thinking and emotions. I think this is what causes the “U-shape” emotional experience that most people warn you against before you leave for another country. That is, in the beginning, everything is exciting and new, but once you have hit a routine, you find yourself in a slump. Little things start to annoy and irritate you; such as the way people walk, how they smile, the way they dress and comb their hair, how they eat their meals.

You no longer allow room for cultural sensitivity. Rather, you become too quick to judge others and their actions. You ask yourself, “why can’t they just do it right?” Well, what exactly is “right”? I think the lines do become blurred between “right” and “wrong” when you give space for cultural differences. This is actually an ongoing debate in the field of Anthropology, especially in terms of foreign intervention. When should an Anthropologist step in and say, “Hey, I think what you are doing as a cultural practice is incorrect and a harm to society”?

It truly is a challenge to remain level-headed and to maintain a sensitive approach towards other cultures. You know, we throw this word around – “culture” – as if we know exactly what it means. Well, I will be the first to admit that I can’t really describe this word or accurately define it for you (another Anthropological dilemma). And, even with a scholastic background in culture and in the field of Anthropology, I often find myself bewildered with Chinese social habits; what’s more, I want to easily denounce some of these habits as “ignorant” or “completely unnecessary.”

Of course, this is too rash of a decision for someone like me who hopes to better understand others. What’s more, this leads to a lot of the misunderstandings which people have for one another. As my students have said in class, “with the rise of technology, the world is smaller and smaller.” Contact with other countries is more real now and quite uncomfortably close. It’s like our technology is undoing the work of tectonic forces. All of the countries are coming back together – man is playing his global puzzle and each country is just one piece of the puzzle. If we wish to avoid tearing off the artwork of each puzzle piece, we have to be culturally more sensitive.