"The Return of Lily"

--The title should be more heart-felt and romantic, but I had to make a reference to Star Wars.--

I should first say, I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. It is the second holiday (in my view) so far that I was not able to experience, having been in China for almost 4 months now; the first was Halloween. Sure, you had Labor Day, and several other US holidays, but for me, I have always enjoyed Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years.

Well, I didn't feel too homesick, because my girlfriend came back for the week! Words can't express the many emotions that ran through my head as baba and I waited for Lily at the Beijing airport... Although my situation is very minor in comparison to many other couples out there in the world -- many military men don't see their family for years -- I was finally able to experience the beauty of reunion between two lovers. I can now appreciate the many times I see troops wishing their families "Happy Christmas" over the television, or when people feel a rush of excitement at the airport when they see their loved ones once again...

It's that feeling when your heart is thumping, many thoughts/memories are racing through your head, and you feel that you have finally come home to something. Even though Lily came to me, I felt that I was momentarily back home in Austin, like the many times Lily would ride her bike over to my apartment.

However, interestingly, and Lily admitted to this as well, it wasn't quite like home anymore. You know, when you're home, everything feels normal and comfortable, or at least that's how things should be. Except, when I reunited with Lily inside KFC, it wasn't the same -- it felt different. In fact, I had to hold and touch her for quite a while to know that it really was her again... I'm sure I made others around me feel the same awkwardness, but I wanted to smell her again; feel her face and her hair against mine; kiss her once more. It was like taking a shower after camping for 5 straight days. Haha, you know that feeling Brian; it's a great feeling of relief.

With that said, it really didn't take long for us to get back into the "swing of things" once again. In fact, we even argued some, just like an old couple would over dinner.

I should say that, with the mixture of the old and the new, things truly are different from what they once were. People might ask, "Is that a good or a bad thing?" I would like to say "neither," but if I had to choose, I guess I would say "good." As my friend Marc likes to put it, "change is good." I finally felt somewhat of a change in myself through my interaction with Lily. At least, this is what I tell myself. I mean, surely I've changed after spending close to 4 months in an entirely new environment, right?

Likewise, I'm sure Lily has changed, having lived with two of her friends with whom she never lived before. I think individually, our chemistry has changed. Moreover, our chemistry together subsequently has changed as well. Not to mention, my relationship with Lily's parents has greatly developed, which changes the outlook Lily and I have for each other. You know, I'm not just a simple boyfriend anymore, one with whom you can periodically date. At the same time, Lily means much more to me now (not that she didn't mean anything to me before).

I believe this has a great influence on our relationship now. I think it makes both of us more sensitive towards each other in the sense that we have greater expectations which we wish to be fulfilled. She wants me to "always" be happy; I want her to "always" agree with what I say; I want this; she wants that. In a way, it is almost like being married, but without a ring and a huge wedding bill waiting to be paid off...

I'm not saying it's a bad thing -- but it certainly is different from the way things were back in February. I think the best thing that Lily and I have for each other is "care." One of Josh's friends in South Korea told me that, for a woman to argue with you, or for her to become "irrational" -- get upset over something "little" -- shows that she actually cares about you. If a woman thought of you as just some play thing, or someone who was only temporary in your life, maybe she wouldn't care that all of your co-workers are female, or that you were leaving for another country; maybe she'd just dump you...

Moreover, I feel that Lily and I are also willing to admit to our faults/mistakes, which takes an ounce of pride away (maybe more, depending on the mistake). In my mind, great communication requires apologies once in a while, as well as humbleness on the part of each communicator. It really means a lot to me when Lily says she's "sorry," or that she made a mistake. It is also important for me to sometimes owe our arguments to a mistake I made, because I know neither of us is perfect.

Alma once said that, "to really know a person, to develop a deep connection with the person, you have to argue." Well, maybe I changed the words up a bit, but she said that you really don't know a person if you haven't argued with them on a consistent basis.

I love you Lily...