"You Scratch My Back with a Golf Club, I Scratch Yours"

Thank you all for the wonderful email! The nice thing about the world today is that, even though we are separated by thousands of miles, we are still one click away.

That leads me into "homesickness." Peggy and Brian are right, I do have homesickness; I've got a lot of it. But, I embrace this, because it only reflects the love I have for my family, friends, and my country.

As some of you know, I haven't always shown a lot of patriotism, or "love" for my country, but China has actually made become closer to what I call "home." In China, I have been reverted back to some sort of child who is "learning the ropes" each day. I rely on people more than ever, trying to pick up on the subtle cultural cues, and making many mistakes along the way. Though I am quickly picking up the language, I am still struggling with the tones, which Chinese people can almost perfectly say with little effort in the way.

As they say in Anthropology, one consequence to come out of studying another culture is to learn more about your own. Indeed, I have not only come to better appreciation the US, but I have learned more about our culture and the way things work. I find myself explaining to Lily's father each step of the way what "is" and what "isn't" American.

"In America, we do not have such crazy traffic." "In America, Japanese cars are more expensive." But, it runs a little deeper than that. "Just like some Chinese people, many Americans do believe in dream interpretation." This I explained to Lily's father after telling him that Lily had a nightmare involving him :(

Although I haven't shared with Lily's father every cultural comparison I have made -- I wish this could be possible, but my Chinese is like a "lock" on my thoughts -- I have made many other observations to myself.

For example, today, Lily's father took me to a golf club, where we spent most of the day with Lily's fathers' ex-manager and son. Now, although my Chinese is as good as a 3 year old, my 22 year old mind can still pick up on body language and situational context. I made the guess that, much of what Lily's father was doing today was geared towards "networking."

Though the Chinese people clearly see this underlying motive, it is not as greatly vocalized or as "taboo" as it is in America. In fact, I believe it would be socially inappropriate/condemned in America for a worker to spend time with his ex-manager's son. At least, this is how I felt today -- a strong awkwardness, as if I were doing something "wrong."

However, I kept a smile on my face and played like a puppet alongside Lily's father. I mean, he's a great guy, and I would do anything to help him better enjoy his life, even if it meant playing the role of the "happy-go-lucky" American who can help an ex-manager's son improve his English.

Really, the manager's son was a nice kid and showed me respect when he could, but I could see from every corner the kid was a spoiled brat; in Chinese, this is "xiao huang di," or "little emperor." This has become a huge phenomenon in China -- for children to be spoiled -- due to the "one child" policy that limits families to only one child. What's a father and mother to do when they can only take care of one child?

Not only did Lily's father pick up the kid, but he fed the kid, played "big brother" with the kid, and cheered him on every time he swung at his golf balls. The kid's behavior towards his mother (the ex-manager) was more telltale; not to mention, he was telling me he has PS3, Xbox 360, and he's got his own set of golf clubs!

What I'm getting at is not so much the inferiority of Lily's father and I in this relationship, but the complexity of human relationships and behavior in general. In this case, we're not only dealing with a different cultural/historical realm -- Chinese culture -- but we are also dealing with a generation gap.

Sure, times have changed, but the way in which Lily's father handles his business affairs seems to still be fairly strong in China. From what I understand, Valdo says that this is also true in Brazil. That, you need to know the right people and pull the right strings for things to run more smoothly. Valdo can see a doctor the same day he requests one. I've got to wait maybe one or two weeks.

Although networking is also important in America, I do not feel it is conducted in the same way, or as important as it is elsewhere. It seems that your credentials (i.e. education and work experience) and skin color are the strongest determinants for landing a job with an American company. It's not so much how entertaining you can be to a boss' son, though it does certainly help.

I'm not really sure where we Americans picked up on this idea of "merit," or why we are so determined to enforce it. But, are we truly dealing with one's "merit," or social inequality? How can you measure merit when people don't start off from an equal beginning? Sally goes to a private school, John goes to an all-black school on the eastside. Both put in the same effort -- what should be "merit" -- but Sally ends up at Harvard, and John ends up as an auto mechanic.

I know I'm leaving out important details, but it is all just food for thought. The point is, China has encouraged me to reconsider my own values and the things in which I have greatly believed.

Haha, no worries, I'm not about to start stealing or vandalize a church building.

I just hope that I can remember much of this after the whole experience is said and done. It seems to be that humans are molded and shaped by the environment. Though we hang our hats on one hook and the hook molds the hat a certain way, when it is time to pick up the hat again, the mold/crease vanishes.

However, I do believe the hat is never exactly the same again. I wonder how much of me will be forever changed by this experience. We'll have to wait and see ;)